Open Letters


March 8, 2018

Tadhana is a Tagalog word which means “destiny” or “fate”.

Hey Guy, It’s me. 

I still remember how I saw you for the first time in the pictures; surprisingly I got interested in you. I was curious about your appearance in flesh. After a week, it was a Monday morning, I was having my grab car and as I am reaching to the destination, which is at the workplace, I saw you at first but because of my poor eye vision, I only saw the shadow of your physical appearance – it was a blur. I got hurried because I was about to be late on work, I was looking to you once again and our eyes met with each other. I remembered that you were beside of one of your co-worker while having a sip of your hot coffee. But I ignored you then because I wasn’t enabled to see you clearly. And the Good thing, I made it on time for duty. After I got in the office, like around 30 minutes after I arrived, you went back in the office and that time I was having a gossip with my co-worker. By then, I was surprised and got my eyes glued to you for a second. I’ve never expected that I would be in struck with “the love at first sight”. It brought me to my mind, thinking that “He is the one whom I ‘m going to marry regardless of age and status.” Starting on that day, I kept on having butterflies in the stomach. Everywhere I go, every time your face pops out into my mind, I really can’t help myself but to smile whether in public or private places; even without any reasons at all. You were the first one who asks about me – well, of course, it’s normal for every company to a new co-worker.

So, this guy has the characteristics which I ask from God for my ideal type, back when I was still in high school, I asked God that my future husband will look like a – have the eye of a Chinese person (Chinito), tall, not so handsome but have a good sense of humour, funny, open-minded to anything, friendly, secretive, stubborn, hard-headed, knows how to cook, doesn’t smoke but can tolerate alcoholic drink, a basketball player and also a gamer! Regardless of the age as long as I will going to meet that man soon, which I wanted to marry in the future.

I didn’t expect that would be you, guy. You were my inspiration and motivation to go to work. We laughed and smiled a lot together. We did share a lot of experiences and memories even if you don’t know that I’ve secretly loved you for the first time since I’ve met you. I was enjoying my time together with you even though you don’t realize it I was happy.

I still remembered how did we exchanged our Instagram user ids and we followed each other at the same time. There may be a time that we are on silent, you didn’t know how I kept on stealing pictures of you and keep it on my lock gallery app so no one ever could ever see, including you. I was ultimately shy when you gave me a half of the pizza which my mother gave it to me for an afternoon snack, you bite a bit on that slice of pizza and then you gave me the remaining half of the pizza. Sometimes, I could even notice you are stealing glances at me even though you don’t have any intentions on that, but I still feel to squeak but I only kept it inside. Remember the day we went home together with your fellow co-employee for the first time? I was so happy back then; we even sat together riding on a jeepney, even if I could only take a walk to my destination because it was only near from work. I remembered how you asked me for a name for that stuffed toy that you would want to give  for someone on Valentine’s Day. And then, we went home again together, the three of us for the second time around. On the next day, you called me up and you let me see in your phone the effort that you made for that someone. Oh, I really wish I was the one given instead of her. There are a lot of fun and memories I can even recall until now, even though it doesn’t really matter or important to you.

Until now, you still don’t know that I’m still into you even though I’m already not in the workplace anymore. I could even dream of you in my some sleepy nights. You still don’t know how I still get anxious if you don’t make any Instagram story or post. I know I’m kind of falling in love with you, but the thing is we are never called to be “tadhana”. I am still living in the world of unrequited love (or one-sided love). Will you ever go to break it? Our Zodiac Signs and Chinese Animal Signs are perfectly aligned but I guess, he still deserves someone who is better than me anyway. Although I still have a remaining of an emotional attachment thingy on him, I still believe in positive changes. We were in the right place but we are destined in the wrong place, I guess.

If ever you’re going to read this one, guy. This is my inner feelings for you. These are the memories I will never forget even we only talk a bit. And of course, there are still countless of memories in the span of short time of having been with you, but I only want to keep it only to myself. Thank you for making my heart fluffy, always cheerful and bringing a lot of happiness. Thank you for sometimes keeping in touch through comments and direct messages. After all, you were my favorite Instagram user. I hope this open letter will reach you anytime soon. Always take care of yourself. You know who you are.

Until next time again, guy.

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